


Leaf on the Wind

by tokillamocking_girl



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Anti-Imprinting, Death, Imprinting, One Shot, Spitefic, Unrequited Love, one sided affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-16
Updated: 2012-11-16
Packaged: 2017-11-18 18:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokillamocking_girl/pseuds/tokillamocking_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if an imprint didn't want her wolf? A oneshot exploring her mindset. Very anti-imprinting. Songfic framed by Bedlam Bard's 'Leaf on the Wind'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaf on the Wind

**Part One**

' **I was born on a rock where the stars didn't shine'**

Most people are born, right? No one just…becomes. Like many of you, I was born. My arrival came during the Fall Equinox of 1989, during a beach party. As they were ready to light the bonfire, the pains my mother had been experiencing all day worsened.

And so I was born in the sand, caught by a woman who would die seven years and three months later. Her body would be so ruined that her coffin nailed needed to be nailed shut. I would attend the funeral with my own mother. The dress I was forced to wear would itch and I wouldn't understand anything for a while.

By the time the big storm hit two years later, killing my father and several others, I would understand death.

La Push was my home for 16 years. It lay outside the small town of Forks, and the sky above both places was usually an unrelenting steel gray. The sun rarely graced us with its presence and it rained more than most places. By six, I was used to damp hair, rubber boots and dirty hands. Sand and mud were usually under my nails, because I loved to garden and play on the beach. The beach where I had been born became my safe place. There was a niche between two rocks. When it wasn't raining, I would settle in there and read until I heard my mom call for me.

My life was simple before I turned 16. I just…lived. I went to school, read my books, hung out with my friends (all boys, not many girls my age) and worked at one of the gift shops on weekends. My mom never remarried, at least while I was there. We were close. I loved her.

Then, the cold ones came and then everything went to hell.

**Part Two**

' **I offered my wings to the side I thought right'**

I was eight months away from turning 17 when it happened.

At first it had been the older boys. It was strange. They would be out for a couple weeks and come back a bit shaken but…god-like. Taller, muscular. All the girls were spell-bound. Russet skinned gods walked among us after all. I didn't really care about the influx of sex gods. I had crush on a normal boy. Quil Ateara and I had been friends since childhood. He would carry my bag and buy me lunch. I never thought anything of it, since I helped him with his homework and made him cakes. Never occurred to me that he did those things because he liked me back.

But this isn't about Quil.

Towards the end of January, he fell ill, as did Embry Call and Jacob Black. Within three days of each other, they caught 'mono' and stayed home for days. Those three empty seats worried me, and I tried to go by their houses with soup or magazines. I even brought a Maxim for Jacob, stuffing it the waistband of my jeans. I was turned away and ended up hiding the magazine under my mattress.

Two weeks after he went out, Embry Call came back to school. He had cut his hair and he looked shaky and terrified. Like some sort of crack addict. At least that was what I heard. We didn't have any classes together and he wasn't at lunch. I barely took notice. Out of all the guys, Embry was the one I was the least close to. I could just talk to the others and then there was the whole thing with Quil. Embry and I just didn't click as friends.

I walked home from school every day, since it less than a mile from my house. I always listened to my iPod on the way home, singing along.

I remember that I had just hit play on Fall Out Boy's 'Dance, Dance' when it happened.

Someone grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. My earphones fell out and then I dropped my iPod. It bounced off a rock and I was ready to rip the head off of whoever grabbed me.

"What the fuck?" I growled, looking into the face of Embry Call.

"Oh my god," he whispered. "It's you." He ran a hand down my face.

In one freakishly quick movement, he stole my first kiss.

**Part Three**

' **I swore to myself that above it I'd rise'**

I refused right off.

When he had pulled away from my mouth, I had punched Embry in the face. My hand had made a cracking sound and he had been unharmed. He began to fuss over my injury, and when I tried to pull away, he grabbed me and somehow carried me to Quil's house, yelling for Old Quil.

As Joy Ateara bandaged my hand, they told me.

Embry was a shape shifter, something from the stories I had grown up on. And I was his imprint.

That meant I was his soul mate. Old Quil gave me a book.

It horrified me.

**Imprinting can not be forced on anyone, no matter how much the shape-shifter may want it…**

**It is unknown whether the shape-shifter could go one day without being in contact with his imprintee, the separation potentially causing both of them pain.**

**What would happen if the imprinter is rejected by imprintee is unknown, but highly unlikely as they are deemed to be a perfect match- he will be anything she may want or need, making rejection highly unlikely. Should it happen, the imprinter may feel unspeakable pain.**

So I was stuck with Embry Call for the rest of my life. I couldn't leave him. He would die of loneliness. Literally. Or I could end up like poor Emily Young. She tried to say no and was now scarred for life, and yet still chained to Sam Uley until she died. They could never leave the reservation, since he had to stay to protect our land and our people. She wouldn't go to school anywhere farther than the community college. Never be anything more than a wife because that was what was dictated. Since imprinting was to pass on the wolf gene, she would be forced to have child after child.

I had options, sure. I could 'choose' to have him as a brother figure or a friend. But I couldn't. They wouldn't let me. My own mother, even after I told her how I felt, after I begged her to let me move away, pushed me towards him. She would encourage him to be alone with me in my room with the door closed, leave bridal magazines around and even had him sleep over.

In my room.

It was creepy, having him watch over me. I would wake up and find him staring down at me. He would do anything for me. Anything.

But he wanted me to love him, in a way that I didn't want. I didn't find him attractive and I certainly didn't want to share a bed with him one day.

Quil was still on my mind. Even though they were throwing Embry at me, I still loved Quil. In fact, this situation only made me love him more. It helped me realize that he was what I wanted. He wouldn't be pushing me. Embry needed to fill a void left by his lack of a father and that seemed to be up to me.

But it wasn't fair. It shouldn't be up to me to make someone else whole.

I should choose who I should be with, who I want to complete. And Embry wasn't it. He would never be it.

One evening, Quil came into my room, through my window. I half expected it to be Embry and I jumped, terrified. Sometimes, he would just stare at me, other times he would talk about how much he loved me and how awesome our future would be.

"Hey. Hey. Hey. It's just me."

"Thank god."

"You okay?"

"Um, yeah. I thought you were Embry."

He sat down next to me on my bed. "I thought you would be happy to see him."

I shook my head. "I…just can't. Just because he imprinted on me doesn't mean I love him."

"Oh. Does he know?"

"I tried. But he just runs me over and says that in time, I'll be happy." I felt my eyes well up. "Quil, I don't want him. Look at Emily Young! I don't want to be like her."

"I know. You want to get out." He looked so sad. I put my arms around him and we just sat there.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I know." Quil looked up, devastated. "But you belong to him." He bent down and gave me a quick kiss. "I'm sorry."

**Part Four**

' **Put me where I'll see stars, so that I can see you'**

There I stood at the highest point on the cliffs, a month later. It was windy that day. As I stared at the rocks and water, my hair kept going into my mouth. I kept batting it away, not sure why I was even bothering. My life was over. By now, I was no longer a person; I was Embry Call's imprint. His possession.

It made me sick.

Last week, I had lost my only chance at escape. Quil imprinted on a baby girl. Emily's adorable two year old niece, Claire. I used to babysit her but Quil did that now. He had disappeared in a way and now what was left was this…zombie that was devoted to Claire. He had told me that I would learn to appreciate Embry and would learn to love him. Just ten days ago, he had promised he would help get me out of here.

And this morning, I had heard him talking to my mom. They must have thought I was still asleep. She had been feeding him pancakes and bacon and between bites, he informed her of his plans to propose when I turned seventeen. Rather than tell him to slow it down, my mother had been delighted and told him she had my grandmother's ring. There would be only one answer to his question.

So it would go. I would spend the rest of my life on the reservation. If I tried to run away, he would be able to find me. I had found that out when I tried to escape to Seattle. As soon as I had gotten there, he had been waiting for me at the bus station. His wolf senses would always tell him where I was. So, running away wasn't an option. Not for maybe years. And by the time he stopped phasing, I would have popped out a couple kids. That would be my life. Popping out babies in hopes of passing on the wolf gene.

Everyone thought it was so wonderful I had someone so devoted to me. No one was going to risk the wrath of the elders or ancestors to help me escape.

As I stared at the crashing waves, I had to remind myself that this was the only way.

"Hey."

Embry, my personal god, stood there in all his shirtless glory. "I was looking for you." He smiled at me. With that smile, I knew what I had to do. I took a deep breath and a step back.

"I'm a leaf on the wind," I said. "Watch how I soar."

Then, I took the leap.

And I did soar for a few glorious seconds. I could hear him screaming above me and I just laughed. How could I not? I was free.

I hit the water hard. It stung like knives and I didn't fight it, laughing as it filled my lungs, stabbed my eyes. The pressure built and my chest began to hur

The last thing was the slowing of my heart and then something sharp connecting with my head. The blood in the water looked so pretty as I took my final breath and let myself go.

' **And I'll soar like a leaf on the wind'**


End file.
